Written by Jeph Porter and Mikey Little

EMPLOYEE INCIDENT REPORT

REPORTED BY: Bill Fries
TITLE/ROLE: Dock Manager
REPORT DATE: June 7th, 1975

INCIDENT INFORMATION

EMPLOYEE NAME: CW “Rubber Ducky” McCall
TITLE/ROLE: Driver
DATE OF INCIDENT: June 6th, 1975
INCIDENT LOCATION: Tulsa, OK; Chicago, IL; Gloucester City, NJ; Various
ADDITIONAL PERSON(S) INVOLVED: “Pig Pen” “Sod Buster” [real names unavailable at the time of filing], between 85-1,000 additional drivers.
WITNESSES: Oklahoma State Police, Illinois State Police, Illinois National Guard, 11 Friends of Jesus, New Jersey State Police, one toll booth operator.

INCIDENT DESCRIPTION

Mr. McCall AKA “Rubber Ducky” arrived in Ocean City, NJ around 11 AM on June 7th. His cargo consisted of 40 tons of unmilled trees and appeared to be mostly intact. However, I feel that the situation surrounding its delivery deserves review by the company. In addition to his cargo, Mr. McCall arrived with an atypical amount of unscheduled deliveries and was pursued by a significant amount of local and state police in what can only be described as a “convoy”. The following report lays out the previous day’s events according to Mr. McCall’s own recollection. 

Mr. McCall left Los Angeles, CA in the early morning on the 6th of June in his Kenworth Class 8 semi-truck bound for the East Coast. In his company was an unnamed driver only referred to by Mr. McCall with his CB handle, “Pig Pen,” in a GMC Class 8 semi-truck hauling livestock. Additionally, another unnamed driver was in their company in a “cabover” style truck with a Peterbilt refrigerated trailer attached, contents unknown. All three were eastbound on US Interstate 10 towards Flagstaff, AZ when the incident began. Mr. McCall admits that it was at this point that he recognized that the three of them were now in a “convoy” and he decided to “put the hammer down,” i.e. exceed the maximum allowed speed limit for a truck class of this size, despite the fact that he was aware law enforcement would be present on the intended route.

This so-called “convoy” continued unabated until reaching Tulsa, OK where it had grown to a considerable size of eighty-five trucks. This large amount of vehicles traveling at excessive speeds managed to draw the attention of the local state police, which set up a roadblock at a cloverleaf interchange with the apparent intention of bringing this “convoy” to a stop. McCall claims that the police also brought along air support which has been confirmed by the Oklahoma State Police to be their helicopter which was following the pursuit. It is unclear outside of speeding what caused this amount of police attention but it is assumed Mr. McCall and the other drivers must have posed a significant threat to the local population to warrant said response. Either way, Mr. McCall made the decision to antagonize the police or in his own words: “go a-huntin’ bear”. He did not indicate the exact meaning of this phrase but considering the following events, it is clear his intentions were not honorable.

The “convoy” continued along Interstate 44 at speeds well in excess of legally posted limits. And according to Mr. McCall’s own admission, he and the other drivers destroyed their logbooks, a clear violation of company policy, and left them at the weigh station, which also violates company policy on the disposal of refuse.

By the time Mr. McCall’s “convoy” reached Chicago, IL, the perceived threat of the group in question was such that the state police elected to call in the Illinois National Guard. Responding generously, they met the "convoy" with armored cars, tanks, jeeps, and several helicopters. Having a clear and astute understanding of interstate traffic laws, the "convoy" managed to evade this surprising show of force by making it across the state line with what Mr. McCall now claimed was a "convoy" of one-thousand “screaming” trucks. Additionally, they were joined by eleven members of the religious group, the Friends of Jesus, who were in possession of and operating a chartreuse Volkswagen microbus. It is unclear how slightly less than a dozen members of a religious organization joined said "convoy" but Mr. McCall does admit that he encouraged them to drive behind another truck hauling “dynamite” in hopes their affiliation with the divine would keep this parcel from exploding. It can be safely assumed that “dynamite” is an aphorism for some other combustible material because as far as I am aware the company does not currently have contracts with any dynamite manufacturers. Further, the legal implications of transporting explosives over state lines, as well as doing so in excess of clearly posted speed limits, is a well established federal law that this company currently abides by.

Mr. McCall gave no indication of any significant events occurring in the following 800 miles before they reached the Walt Whitman Bridge just outside of Gloucester City, NJ but that part is understandable as many of our drivers have alleged that “nothing happens between Chicago and Philly.” However, upon arrival at the bridge, Mr. McCall claimed he lacked the funds to pay said toll and therefore would not be paying, despite long-standing company policy of tollway reimbursement. The rest of the "convoy" elected to stand in solidarity with Mr. McCall’s decision, even though many of them did, in fact, have the dimes in question.

Despite the heavy police presence on the bridge the entire "convoy" of trucks flagrantly ignored the toll gates and drove their vehicles right through them at speeds in excess of 98 miles per hour. I hope I don’t need to illustrate the danger of this speed in a class 8 semi-truck with a full trailer, not to mention one-thousand similar trucks doing the same thing, one of which could be hauling explosive material. The exact costs of the damages are unknown at this time but no doubt will need to be decided in arbitration with the New Jersey Department of Transportation. 

It was at this point Mr. McCall’s "convoy" continued on to Ocean City, NJ where this report is being filed. At this time it is unclear what Mr. McCall intends to do. However, when asked why he perpetrated such a reckless activity he simply said: “Let them truckers roll. Ten-Four.” He provided no further clarification.

Unfortunately “Pig Pen” was not available to provide testimony as he had been left behind in Omaha, NE due to Mr. McCall’s continual orders for him to “back off” because of the smell produced by the hogs in his trailer. Additionally, Mr. McCall has filed a workman’s comp complaint about said hogs and the damage they have caused to his sinuses. Mr. McCall has agreed to provide testimony against “Pig Pen” for trying to sell his livestock to the local meatpackers of Omaha, in flagrant violation of the contract he had to deliver them to Ocean City, NJ.

RESULTING ACTION EXECUTED, PLANNED, OR RECOMMENDED

In light of the above-referenced events, I must recommend the immediate termination of Mr. McCall, “Pig Pen”, “Sod Buster”, and all one-thousand drivers involved. I do realize this will have disastrous implications for our fleet but I feel that we cannot abide such reckless behavior when company property is at stake. Additionally, I have passed this testimony on to every state police department along Mr. McCall’s route between Oklahoma and New Jersey as well as federal authorities in connection with a variety of suggested interstate related crimes. It is my understanding that all parties will be seeking damages from the company.

When asked to justify the events of the previous day, Mr. McCall would only repeat that it was a “mighty convoy” that had been “rockin’ through the night”, that he believed it was a “beautiful sight”, and had actively encouraged others to join the "convoy" with the promise that nothing would “get in our way” and finally that they would “roll this truckin’ convoy ‘cross the USA”.  He has said nothing since.